We hear more and more about the Sandwich Generation. And if you are living right smack in the middle of it, you know exactly what we mean when we talk about getting a grip on ageing.

Juggling the demands of caring for your children and spouse and keeping on top of your career is challenging. Plus, you have to manage your health and financial issues. Now, on top of this, we add coping with the needs of your ageing parents. Notice how your leisure time didn’t even fit into this last sentence. What about an evening with friends, time at the spa, or date night with your partner?

According to Statistics Canada, the number of people aged 65 and up has more than doubled since the 1920s. And it will double again in the next three decades. By 2031, one in four Canadians will be a senior, up from roughly one in 10 today.

More and more, when my phone rings, it is common to hear that clients are “right-sizing” their lives. People are retiring. Ageing parents are moving out of homes they have lived in for 30, 40, or 50 years. They want to downsize into a smaller, more manageable home. Certainly, Out of Chaos can assist in dealing with the collection of stuff accumulated over a lifetime.

A Senior’s Advocate Can Help

Often my conversations are with people whose ageing parents are being downsized “for their own good” due to a medical situation. Sadly the parents require long-term care and cannot return to their old home. In many cases, the families that I speak with are not prepared to deal with the complexities of ageing parents. Under those circumstances, I suggest dealing with Barb Kirby of BjK Senior’s Advocate. Barb provides one-on-one private consultations on creating a Personal Resource Book on Personal Planning for Later Life Care.

One family in particular engaged in Barb’s services to assist them in planning for their mother’s future housing needs as she grew more dependent on assistance as she aged. During Barb’s private consultation, she walked the family through the steps on how to be prepared for the eventual time when their mother would need the support of others. They were able to create plans in advance, while their mother could still communicate her wishes and desires. They had discussions on subjects that most people do not want to talk about nor know how to bring up, like funeral arrangements.

During this consultation, BjK Senior’s Advocate explained the difference between senior citizens’ residences, assisted living, and long-term care. They discussed care options such as in-home, public, or private care, combinations of public and private, adult daycare, overnight care, companions, housekeeping, physiotherapists, etc.

Even as I write this, I find it confusing and complicated! Can you imagine having to sort all this out during a stressful and emotionally charged time, like when your parent is in a health crisis? It would put incredible demands on your time and your financial resources. Barb will certainly be there to help you sort through the maze of information and provide available resources and options.

Fortunately for this family, they can take the time to plan for the future of their ageing mother. They recognize that a move, albeit not right away, is imminent. One of their immediate concerns is what to do with the “stuff” mom accumulated over 40 years? If you are dealing with a similar situation, I recommend thinking big picture to start.

Tips to Start Downsizing

1. Pull aside memories that are dear to the heart.
2. Pass items on while your parents are alive and say who they want a particular item to go to.
3. Identify items that might be suitable for consignment.
4. Identify items that you can donate.
5. Create a pile for recycling or trash.

Each one of these piles can be sub-divided further with separate action items to follow up on. But this list is a great starting point.

If you need help getting a grip on ageing and don’t know where to begin, contact us, and we will get you Out of Chaos.